I am 22 months in remission and yesterday I had my 6-month scans. Every time I have to have an MRI I always have a voice in the back of my head saying “what if it’s back”. I started the day at 7am. My parents are by my side for the commute into the city for a 9:30 MRI.
First step is to get an IV for the contrast…but I know the routine. I asked the nurses to leave it for blood draws needed for the rest of the day. The MRI is at least 2 hours. My mom takes a few JZips to sew, I know it calms her nerves.
After that, it’s followed by multiple blood draws and doctors asking me to review every medication and the dosages (I went through this 3 times today with 3 different doctors). I take a lot of medications to counteract the damage done from my brain tumors. I try to make light of it and always joke that I take more pills than my grandparents. It’s the truth. I will take these medications for the rest of my lifetime.
Before my doctor come in to the room, I see my dad put his head down and cover his eyes, he’s praying. It’s about 3:30, we finally review the results of the MRI. This may sound simple enough, even routine, it’s not. The whole day I was anxious and fearful.
At this point for me an MRI has become am accomplishment and reminds me how grateful I am to be getting an MRI, talking and laughing with my Doctors, see the team of Nurses that cared for me when I was in treatment, and have my parents always by my side.
When my Oncologist says “everything looks really good, there are no changes” I feel so much relief. As much relief as I feel, I am acutely aware of those who aren’t as fortunate. Each moment of everyday, every week, month and year I am more appreciative of the life I have and that I am here with a purpose to help others with the support of the people I love and who love me.